what do you call a hooker that you pay with spaghetti?
a pastatute
how many people unfollowed you because of this
20
(via oswaldz)
Once my dad got a nail stuck in his eye so he had to get this cotton patch taped over it and while he slept I drew an eye on it and put makeup on it and coincidentally my dads name is Joe so I think you know where this is going
My dad was the real Cotton eyed joe
I wasn’t kidding…
dont judge the artistic part of it i was 9 and he is a light sleeper
(via oswaldz)
i walk a lonely road
the only one that i have ever known
(via oswaldz)
“you’ll scare guys off with that feminist crap”
oh i’m sorry
you’re right
the kind of guy who has problems with me demanding that i be treated as his equal is totally the kind of guy i want to be in a relationship with
my mistake
(via oswaldz)

Men of Tumblr, I’m counting on you to make this one good.
I got stuck
Pansy
Challenge accepted
Please, nothing to it.
omg
HOW EMBARRASSING!
Yes it got better finally
(via oswaldz)

#can somebody put an even smaller spiderman on the little spiderman’s butt
/CAN’T BREATHE
(Source: spideybutt, via oswaldz)